Beverly Hills
by TealCandyes
Summary: Naruto is unsuspectingly thrust into the world of drama, love, and everything in between when he and his liberal GayMo best friend Sasuke leave their dusty little town for the land of fame and sex. GaaNaru NejiSasu
1. Beverly Hills

_**Beverly Hills**_

_Where I come from isn't all that great_

_My automobile is a piece of crap_

_My fashion sense is a little whack_

_And my friends are just as screwy as me._

_-_**BEVERLY HILLS**, Weezer

"What. The. French. Toast." Naruto gaped fishily, eyeing Sasuke with a look of total annihilation. "What the hell did you do to my stuff?" The said onyx-eyed teen rolled his eyes, peeking at Naruto through neon-lime rimmed shades.

"Well, you dork, I packed up your stuff for you. Like, _all_ of it. Even your lame ramen boxers. Even if they have a gazillion holes in them. You should be thanking me, ya know. It's not everyday I get into the vibe of being a good Samaritan."

"Y-yeah, but why exactly are you packing up my stuff?" The sunny blonde stuttered. His eye twitched sporadically.

"We're moving, silly!" His (usually) sarcastic, emo (and may he mention- fantastically gay) best friend glomped him.

"And _when_, exactly, did you decide this?"

"Like, last week. Dope." And then he dragged an unsuspecting Naruto into the cobalt pick-up truck and revved up the engine. "Woot! We're going to Konoha, baby!" Sasuke screamed melodramatically, flailing his arms around wildly.

"How long is this stupid phase of yours gonna take," Naruto whined, digging his elbow into's Sasuke's ribs, "stop getting so caught up into those lame Konoha reality TV shows !"

Another petulant roll of the eyes. "Stop being so damn negative all the time. This is a perfect chance to start over, Narutard," he drawled. "At least we're staying at Itachi's place."

Naruto scratched the back of his neck in deep thought. "Have you even seen it? I mean, it's supposed to be like humongous. And very complex."

"So what? You're planning to get lost- in a house, of all things?"

"It's not like I want to get lost. My instincts simply mislead me."

"Yeah. Mislead you to your doom." He retorted sharply. His face softened at Naruto's pouting face.

"Live a little, Naru," Sasuke said, his eyes on the road, "this is our chance to break away from everybody. No one's gonna know about us- our parents, where we came from, and," he glanced at the blonde, tight-lipped, "who we _used_ to be."

To Naruto, this was the winning raison d'être. His sky blue eyes softened. Taking a deep, shaky, breath, he smiled. "I guess you're right." Then his personality did a total one-eighty. "But only this _once_."

Sasuke gave him a victorious grin. "Gotcha. But, you know, we're gonna have to switch in a few hours. My thighs are cramping and I don't wanna be sterile when we get there."

"Blegh. Sure, whatever. Just wake me up when you need to, okay?" Sasuke gave a nod of confirmation, and soon enough, he drifted into a dreamless sleep.

Nearly five hours after Naruto woke up, he was driving down a paved road scattered with signs and graffiti. The pick-up truck seemed to groan at such a long drive, so Naruto slowed down, making sure he was turning on the right streets- and nearly ran over some pink-haired woman, too.

"WHOA. Sorry, dude. I mean- ma'am." He yelled, his lips curling into a foxy grin. The woman hissed at him, and he simply flipped her off. "I didn't notice your bright Pepto-Bismol wig." Then he drove away cackling.

"Are you really Naruto?" Sasuke yawned, poking Naruto. It was the blonde's turn to roll his eyes.

"Yeah, whatev- holy mother of fudge." Naruto's eyes widened as he pulled up into the wide driveway as the gates slid open. "Sasuke, you _rich_ fool."

"What? Didn't I tell you my brother lived in a _mansion_?"


	2. California, Lets Go

**Beverly Hills**

"…from Highland to Clayton, these bitches are hatin'

Cause the shit we're saying is the shit we're playing

If we don't make it we'll take it

If it ain't real we'll fake it."

-**California**, Hollywood Undead

Naruto swore he could've pissed on himself. Itachi was probably one of the coldest people he had ever met (maybe the only cold person he had ever met), and it was creeping him out. Konoha weather was supposed to be hot. Hot as in smoldering, melt-your-ice-cream-in-two-seconds hot.

But Itachi made it seem unpleasantly frosty.

The mansion was nice enough, for it contained fifteen rooms and eleven bathrooms, a humongous pool, and a bubbly jet Jacuzzi. Yet Itachi was not as inviting. Naruto was gaping when Sasuke openly glomped his frigid older brother, along with a question-

" 'Tachi, ya need to loosen up. Otherwise your dick will go through major shrinkage-"

And then the poor teen was haphazardly tossed onto the black leather couches.

"Well," Itachi cleared his throat, "you two have been enrolled into Leaf Academy for fine and performing arts. You will receive your schedules when Winter Break is over." And then the weasel un-popped and slunk away into the depths of his master bedroom cave.

"…dude, your brother is freaking cold. Like a slushie." Naruto whispered dully.

"Urgh. No. He's more like a two-ton block of ice. Because slushies are enjoyable to suck on. Blocks of ice are not." Sasuke retorted, carelessly throwing his feet onto the glass coffee table.

"Stop making such crude analogies, teme."

"I'm not. I could be innocently referring to sucking like sucking on a piece of candy. But your dirty mind has totally twisted my words, dobe."

Naruto snorted. "Shut up, you're gay."

To this, Sasuke cattily replied, "Duh," before Itachi came back downstairs as a warning for them to shut up and go to sleep before he shanked them with his toothbrush.

----Break.---

The weekend sped by, and Naruto had already finished unpacking everything Sasuke had cared to bring. Itachi had also purchased them school supplies (his were full of red and sky blue folders, Sasuke's had somewhat of a fuchsia and blue) and he was currently shoving a piece of toast into his mouth and stacking his school supplies eagerly into his Jan Sport.

"Hurry up, Naruto. We gotta get there early." His best friend leaned against the doorway, flicking onyx hair out of similarly-colored eyes.

"Kay kay. I'm done." He heaved his backpack onto his thin shoulders as they left the house, Itachi revving up the engine of his BMW. Naruto shuffled awkwardly in the back seat. Sasuke was chatting animatedly to his brother, though it seemed like he was talking to himself due to lack of response. The blondie fox took a deep breath, eyes darting around nervously. "_I can do this,_" he thought, "_I will not freak out_."

But somehow, the ride to school was much too short for his liking.

Naruto gulped. Itachi must have been a famous (or infamous) figure at Leaf, because just his car caught unwanted attention- crowds of teens cheered, their chants vague to Naruto's ears.

"Holy shiat. Sasuke, I'm freaking scared!" He trembled. The duck-haired boy simply swallowed, his usual cheerful tone dulled when he murmured,"

"So am I, dobe. So am I."

--Break—

The long, winding, epic journey to retrieve schedules and get to first period was far from pleasant. Naruto had been shoved into rows of lockers two times, accidentally ran into a couple having quickies, and nearly tore his fancy uniform.

"Uchiha, Sasuke." Naruto could barely hear role call through his heart pounding in his ears. "Uzumaki Naruto."

"Here." He replied quietly.

"Hm? What was that?" The teacher looked around, her librarian glasses falling off the bridge of her nose. "I couldn't hear you. You need to speak up, dear." The class seemed to find this hilarious, and they turned their snotty faces to his, laughing.

"Shut up!" He growled, baring his canines, his eyes flashing red momentarily. _NO. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore_. He then turned to the old lady and shouted, "HERE."

Sasuke shot him a look that asked, "are you okay?" in its most concealed form, but Naruto simply rolled his sky blues and mouthed a 'yeah, sure.'

Meanwhile, a red-head in the back of the class paused his conversation with a long-haired brunette male to look up the new blonde kid. He was aware the other new kid was Itachi's brother- they had a striking resemblance. But this kid wasn't, and he didn't seem like Sasuke's boy toy (he was smart enough to note the Uchiha brothers were both gay) and he didn't seem like Itachi's, either.

"Sasuke has a nice ass." Neji smirked crudely. Gaara rolled his eyes.

"I don't care about that emo kid. I wanna know who the blondie is." His coon eyes darted toward the blond, who was strutting out the room with a confused expression, his Jan Sport slung loosely over one shoulder.

"Oh really…then let's play a game, man." His partner-in-crime tore out some paper and scribbled some numbers and diagrams on it. Gaara raised brow.

"And what stupid game would that be?" The red-head snickered, eyeing the last of the blonde's silhouette as Naruto glided out the door.

"A stupid game where we get to see if we can get laid," Neji flashed his trademark smirk-frown-hybrid, "I got Uchicha, you got Uzumaki. Game?"

The second Sabaku brother's lips turned up a bit at the corners.

"I'm in."


	3. Hello, Hotstuff

**Just Came To Say Hello**

_**Yeah I think you're cute**_

_**But really you should know**_

_**I just came to say 'hello.'**_

_**-**__**Hello**__**, **__Martin Solveig ft. Dragonette_

Naruto's hand twitched sporadically in his nervousness when the bell rang. He assumed it was lunch time, but that gosh darn GayMo hippie best friend of his had to disappear somewhere and leave him without any knowledge of the school. Pfft, some kind of best friend he was.

"Hm. Are you lost?" A deep voice literally purred somewhere behind him. The blonde spun around, only to face an intimidating and _hot_ redhead with a heavy dose of eyeliner.

"Y-yeah, what's it to you?" He backed away, swallowing his fear (and a small hint of lust) down his throat. He didn't need a scary, attractive tour guide distracting him with his overwhelming aura and beauty.

The red head chuckled and turned to leave. "Well, I was planning to show you around school, _new kid_, but you're obviously _scared_ of me…so, I'll just be _going_ now."

"No! Wait! Don't leave me!" Naruto pleaded when he realized that they were the only ones left in the deserted hallway. Not to mention he had no idea where the darned cafeteria was. The stranger smirked with an 'I-knew-it' expression.

"I thought so," the redhead crowed, walking past him. "Okay, first off. Lunch starts now, and ends in forty minutes. The cafeteria is down these stairs and out that door. From the quad it's pretty easy to see, so I doubt you can get lost around there." Gaara chuckled in amusement when Naruto jogged to keep up with his strides.

"Where are the other school buildings?" Naruto pulled on Gaara's sleeve. The redhead found it absolutely adorable, and he made note to spend alone time with the new kid. "I mean, I doubt there's only this one huge building and a cafeteria…"

Gaara ruffled the blonde's wild mane, despite the fox's protest. "Those are way over on the other side of the campus." He glanced at the smaller boy's schedule from the side. "There's only one other building you need to know, and that's behind the cafeteria. It's the Iwa-200 building. Can't miss it, it's a huge block of stone."

Naruto nodded gratefully. "Okay, so we're in Suna-100 right now. Out on the quad is the cafeteria. And behind that is the Iwa." When Gaara grunted in confirmation, he grinned brightly and offered a hand. "Well thanks, um…well…"

Gaara, momentarily blinded by the shorter boy's glomp-worthy face, let a small smile slip. "Gaara. Sabaku Gaara." He firmly took Naruto's hand, but lifted it to his lips with a smirk and pecked the boy's knuckles.

The blonde's cheeks flushed. "Ah y-yeah. T-Thanks Gaara." Naruto noted that his heart wasn't supposed to beat that fast when a random (but intense and sexy, his hormones crowed) kissed you on the hand. He could well be beating Gaara up for even trying it, but the mysterious redhead was already walking a good distance away from him. To save face, he quickly added, "I was so not scared of you!"

Gaara stared at the flustered fox, amused. "Oh really? Then maybe you were just checking me out?" With a deep chuckle, he entered the quad, leaving an annoyed, blushing Naruto in the building.

…

Meanwhile, Naruto covered his blushing face with his hands. "Agh! He's so…eurgh!" He groaned in frustration. He was tripping. Seriously. Jeez, he just met a mysterious, intense, and helpful guy (he wasn't _that_ good looking, a mortified Naruto denied) and he already went five inches under his skin.

Sighing, he shrugged off the tingles that came with Gaara's and his brief encounter. "Well, no point being embarrassed about that…" He looked down pointedly at his churning, roaring and very _empty_ stomach. "I gotta hit the cafeteria."

He swallowed down the lump in his throat that came with his emotional turmoil when he entered the amassed quad. Almost immediately, the usually fiery blonde shook at the feel of lustful eyes and demeaning ones on him as he walked through the expansive area.

"Oh _damnit_, they better have instant ramen."

…

Even from a distance, Gaara could see Naruto's tense shoulders and stiff walk. He shrugged off the foreign urge to grab the adorably sexy fox boy and just leave the freaking school for the blonde's comfort. Besides, they just met. He'd have plenty of time to see if the blonde was worthy of something more than a one-night stand.

Neji raised a brow. "Falling for him already? That what quick."

"Hardly. I've yet to see if he's worth more than a tryst." The redhead growled.

"Wow, he messed you up. Since when did the great Sabaku monster ever think about anything other than a fling?" The brunette munched idly on an apple.

"At least I've made progress with my target. You don't seem to have anything to show for." Gaara countered weakly. Stupid Philosophy kids with their stupid insights.

Neji swallowed a mouthful of fruit before replying. "Says you." He smirked. "He's already accepted my invitation for Ino's party on Friday night. _Buurrnn_."

Gaara scoffed. "Oh shut it, white-eyes."


End file.
